Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bath-
\nroom, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms. <\/p>\n
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the
\nother stall saying: ‘Hi, how are you?’ <\/p>\n
I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and
\nI don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat
\nembarrassed, ‘Doin’ just fine.’ <\/p>\n
And the other person says: ‘So what are you up to?’ <\/p>\n
What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking
\nthis is too bizarre so I say: ‘Uhhh, I’m like you, just
\ntraveling.’ <\/p>\n
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can
\nwhen I hear another question. ‘Can I come over?’ <\/p>\n
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I
\ncould just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
\n‘No..I’m a little busy right now!’ <\/p>\n
Then I hear the person say nervously… ‘Listen, I’ll have
\nto call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who
\nkeeps answering all my questions. <\/p>\n
*————– Guaranteed Giggle —————* <\/p>\n
My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
\nher, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative
\nstate, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
\nIf that ever happens, just pull the plug.” <\/p>\n
She got up, unplugged the TV and poured out all of my beer! <\/p>\n
________________________________ <\/p>\n
I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to
\nmy husband’s channel-surfing. He eventually settled on an
\nR-rated movie in which the actress was soon topless. <\/p>\n
“Honey, change the channel,” I said, shielding my son’s
\neyes. “He shouldn’t see this.” <\/p>\n
“It’s okay.” my husband replied. “He probably thinks it’s
\nthe Food Network.” <\/p>\n
*————– Guaranteed Chuckle —————* <\/p>\n
There were two good ol’ boys from the South, who love to
\nfish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard
\nabout it up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake
\nwas frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to
\nthe lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle.
\nOne of them said, “We’re gonna need an ice pick.” So they
\ngot that, and they took off. <\/p>\n
In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and
\nsaid, “We’re gonna need another dozen ice picks.” <\/p>\n
Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions,
\nbut he didn’t. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.
\nIn about an hour, he was back. Said, “We’re gonna need all
\nthe ice picks you’ve got.” <\/p>\n
The bait man couldn’t stand it any longer. “By the way,” he
\nasked, “how are you fellows doing?” <\/p>\n
“Not very well at all,” he said. “We ain’t even got the boat
\nin the water yet.” <\/p>\n
________________________________ <\/p>\n
We had built our dream house several years ago, and
\nfurnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them.
\nNow the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new
\nbedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. <\/p>\n
“Finally!” I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the
\ndriver walked up to the house. “I’ve been waiting twelve
\nyears for this!” <\/p>\n
“Don’t blame me, lady,” he said. “I just got the order this
\nmorning.” <\/p>\n
*————– Guaranteed Giggle and Chuckle —————* <\/p>\n
My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements, and
\nthe director showed us into a room in which containers for
\nashes were on display. <\/p>\n
After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had
\ndecided. <\/p>\n
She sighed. “Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go
\ninto the ground.” <\/p>\n
After a moment’s pause, however, she continued. “But I really
\nprefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue.” <\/p>\n
___________________________________<\/p>\n
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. <\/p>\n
After the man received the full treatment – shave, manicure,
\nhaircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair. <\/p>\n
“I’m goin’ to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he
\nsaid. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” <\/p>\n
When the boy’s haircut was done and the man still hadn’t
\nreturned, the barber said, “It looks like your daddy forgot
\nall about you.” <\/p>\n
“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up,
\ntook me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna
\nget a free haircut!'”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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