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More Giggles and Chuckles

More Giggles and Chuckles

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in 
pain. “Please doctor you’ve got to help me. I’ve been stung 
by a bee.”  

“Don’t worry;” says the doctor, “I’ll put some cream on it.”  

“You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now.”  

“No, you don’t understand!” answers the doctor, “I’ll put 
some cream on the place you were stung.”  

“Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house.”  

“No, no, no!” says the doctor getting frustrated, “I mean on 
which part of your body did that bee sting you.”  

“On my finger!” screamed the man in pain. “The bee stung me 
on my finger and it really hurts.”  

“Which one?” the doctor.  

“How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!”


Giggling With Kids..

 An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with  bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children  were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who  was  decorating them with tiger paws.

“You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint!” a girlin the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him “I love your  freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her  finger across the child’s cheek. “Freckles are beautiful!”

The boy looked up, “Really?”
“Of course,” said the grandmother. “Why, just name me one thing that’s prettier than freckles.”
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into
his  grandma’s  face, and softly whispered, “Wrinkles.”

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond. I
had a  swing  made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We  rode  our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she  said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you  know how you and God are alike?”
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “No, how are we alike?”
“You’re both old,” he said.

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied “I’m  not sure.”
“Look in your underwear, Grandma,” he advised. “Mine says I’m  four.”

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if  anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand,
stood tall,  and quoted, “Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.”

Our five-year-old son Mark couldn’t wait to tell his friend about  the  movie we had watched on television, “20,000 Leagues
Under the  Sea.” The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, “What caused the submarine to sink?”
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, “Dad, it was the  20,000 leaks!!”

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom,guess what? We learned how to make babies today.”
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her  cool.”That’s interesting,” she said. “How do you make babies?”
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change “y” to “i” and  add “es.”

        (Why wouldn’t an English teacher love that one?)
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a  teacher.
The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
” Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child.”